The book#
Welcome#
Welcome, dear reader, to the only guide you'll ever need to master the sacred art of brotherhood. This book is written with one simple goal: to ensure you, as a brother, never fail in your most important duty—serving, respecting, and, above all, obeying your sister(s). I love my sisters, and Iam completely writing this under no pressure of any kind. No not my face
Chapter 1: The Universal Law of "Yes"#
A good brother does not say "no" to his sister. It’s not just a rule—it’s the foundation of a peaceful life. If she asks you to drive her and her friends somewhere, the correct answer is "Of course!" If she requests your last piece of chocolate, the only response is, "I wasn’t even hungry!" Any deviation from this principle will result in eternal suffering, endless guilt trips, and possibly public humiliation.
Remember: The word “no” is an illusion. It doesn’t exist in a brother’s vocabulary.
Chapter 2: Your Sister’s Cooking is the Best Food You’ve Ever Had#
It doesn’t matter if her pasta is slightly overcooked, undercooked, not cooked at all or resembles a cement mix; you will eat her food with enthusiasm. You will not only eat it, but you will also praise it as if they were prepared by a Michelin-starred chef.
Example Correct Response:
"Wow, this is the best thing I’ve ever eaten. You should open a restaurant!"
Example Incorrect Response:
"Is this...burnt?"
If you ever utter the incorrect response, prepare for starvation, as you may never be fed again.
Chapter 3: The Art of Selective Listening#
A good brother knows when to listen and when to nod while pretending to listen. Mastering this skill ensures survival. When your sister is telling a long story about some celebrities or what happened with her friend’s cousin’s dog’s groomer, your role is to nod, add an occasional “wow,” and always agree with her conclusion.
Pro Tip: If she asks, “Were you even listening?” always reply, “Of course! That’s crazy, I can’t believe that happened!” It works 99% of the time.
Chapter 4: The Unwritten Rules of Sharing#
- If she borrows your stuff, it’s called "sharing."
- If you borrow her stuff, it’s called "stealing."
- If you complain, you’re "being dramatic."
It’s best to accept your fate and allow her unrestricted access to your belongings. The sooner you come to terms with this, the easier life becomes.
Chapter 5: Defending Your Sister (Even When She’s Wrong)#
It doesn’t matter what the argument is about—if someone even dares to slightly upset your sister, your duty is clear. She is always right. Even if she changes her mind halfway through the argument, you must adjust accordingly.
Example Scenario:
Sister: "I hate pineapple on pizza."
You: "Same! It’s terrible."
(10 minutes later…)
Sister: "Actually, I love pineapple on pizza."
You: "Yeah, me too! It’s the best topping!"
Loyalty matters more than logic.
Final Words#
Congratulations, dear brother, for taking the first step in becoming the best version of yourself. This is only Part I (Still not complete )—there is still much to learn. But remember, if you follow these rules, your life will be easier, your sister will be happier, and most importantly… you will survive.
Stay strong, and may the wisdom of all good brothers before you guide your path.
Next Steps#
- Add documented real life examples
- Elaborate more on each topic
Coming Soon: How to be a Good Brother - Part II
(Topics include: "Why Your Sister’s Choice is Always the Best," "How to Accept Blame for Things You Didn’t Do," and "The Science of Fetching Things for Your Sister.")